Weird Catalogs

I bought my grandparents' house this summer when my grandmother decided to move into assisted living. Sometimes I get some weird mail addressed to them -- not anything important mind you -- just junk mail and occasional catalogs.

I got a Miles Kimball catalog in the mail recently -- their Christmas 2009 issue. I leafed through it one night out of sheer boredom and found a plethora of really weird things. I decided they were strange enough to share with you.


This so called "Sheet and Blanket Support" made me giggle. I guess if you had really big feet this might be a bit more comfortable -- but it really goes above and beyond just not tucking your sheets and blankets tightly under your mattress. And, in case you were wondering, the vinyl-coated steel support won't rust. Call me crazy but I thought metal only rusted when exposed to water. If it's raining under your comforter you have bigger problems to worry about than creating a tent for your feet...


I love how this photo alerts the readers that these knee warmers save energy. Not sure about the ladybug, though. The write up in the catalog says these warmers "provide soothing comfort when winter winds blow." Here's a crazy idea -- if your knees are cold put some pants on! Or if you want to wear a skirt, wear tights! How ones knees could be cold but their shins and thighs could be toasty warm is beyond me.


I sort of love this product. I mean, why let your tight pants motivate you to exercise and go on a diet when you can just make them bigger. It's called a Comf-O-Mate. I'd call it a Gut Buster.



I actually own this rope timer though I don't think my mother got it from the Miles Kimball catalog. "Just wear this timer around your neck and you'll never miss its cheerful ring!" I can tell you, from experience, that the ring this timer gives off is NOT cheerful. It is, in fact, a blood curdling, heart attack inducing, ear shattering bell. If I wore it around my neck I might drop dead when it went off.



I grew up going to Catholic church every Sunday and not ONCE did Santa Claus appear in our Christmas Eve re-enactments of the birth of Jesus.