Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Dr. Leonard's Crazy Magazine

I have mentioned this before on this blog, but I bought my grandparent's house this summer. This means that I now get all of their weird, old people catalogs even though my grandfather is dead and my grandmother lives in assisted living.

I got a particularly interesting magazine in the mail yesterday for my grandfather: Dr. Leonard's. I am a sick individual with a weird sense of humor, so I like to look through these magazines and laugh at the silly things I see, like caftans, fleece blankets decorated with a large face of a wolf or tiger, and funny ads for hair conditioner and denture adhesive.

But as I'm innocently flipping through I come to a page of horror. Beyond the bunyon correctors, support thigh-highs, and a magnetic knee brace was a two-page spread featuring....VIBRATORS! There were all kinds of them! There were some with butterflies and some with rabbits. There was Lov Rub and a pump to conquer impotence. There were even vibrating erection rings.

I gasped (I was clearly not expecting this) and gazed with consternation. Then I started thinking about my grandfather -- the one who had to have sliced tomatoes with every meal and beans on Saturday -- leafing through this magazine and coming upon this page. I wonder if he would laugh...or be embarrassed...or even know what the vibrators were for. This made me laugh. A lot.

So, thank you Dr. Leonard, for sending my dead grandfather a magazine including EVERYTHING an octogenarian could possibly need to live a more fulfilling life.


jbs said...


Summer Nicklasson said...

Maybe your grandfather had a secret love of women's vibrator catalogues and kept it hidden from the family. Dude Dr. Leanord's sounds kind of cool.